Amazon’s move tanked the stocks of grocery competitors as investors worried that Amazon could do to grocery the same as it did to booksellers. Kroger Co. shares fell 14%, Target Corp. shares fell 12%, Supervalu Inc. shares fell 19%, Costco Wholesale Corp. shares fell 6.2% and Wal-Mart Stores Inc. shares dropped 5.8%.

Proving its reputation as the least-subtle paper on the planet, the Daily Mail went on to share close-up pics of the heels in question from the front, back, and sides as though they’re key evidence in a criminal trial. The writer whipped out the thesaurus, referring to the heels as ‘busted,’ ‘damaged,’ and ‘destroyed,’ and further elaborated the grave crimes of which the shoes are guilty: They apparently contain a ‘chunk of missing resin exposing the steel heel in the shoe.’ Excuse me while I clutch my pearls and shield the eyes of any young children nearby.